Attn: This is soft X-rated, partially historical fiction.
In the second chapter of John Grisham’s latest book, “Camino Winds”, he writes a scene depicting professional published writers at a book store gathering discussing their work. My take away from the conversation is John’s notion that premises of “sex and murder” are required to hit the bestseller novel lists. My own writing doesn’t include these and has reached the ho-hum stage for me.
Last week I went to a luncheon with five of my man friends from the Wide Sky Men’s Council, a mythopoetic men’s drumming group fashioned after the work of Robert Bly. This was simply a lunch at “Wahoo’s” to say hello and catch up, no drumming. Our chronological ages range from 32 to 80; our emotional ages, well, who knows. One fellow, Eric mentioned he had gone to new urologist for his prostate issues. Bob, recognized the doctor’s name and said he had seen her also.
Eric said, “Did she tell you a man should ejaculate 12 to 24 times a month to keep a healthy prostate? She said it was from a Harvard study.”
Wes and I exclaimed loudly, together, in disbelief “!2 to 24 times a month?”
We were on the patio at Wahoo’s, the six of us sufficiently away from the other patrons so our conversation was reasonably quiet; except for Wes and my outbursts. It was 1:30 in the afternoon, moderate temp, maybe 75 or so, our meals were half eaten in front of us. I am dressed in my business casual white shirt, the other five are all not working and are dressed in California t-shirt and shorts style. Some Surf music can be heard over the loudspeakers. A sparrow seemed motionless at my feet waiting for a morsel to drop. I looked up and spotted a patient of mine standing at the door to the patio. The patio is situated about 30 feet from the parking lot with a small stretch of grass between us. The patient I recognized reminded me of my first girl- friend, Janet. Along with the 12 to 24 times a month notion, my memory went wild for a moment. I remember being with Janet in the front seat of my 54 Ford with the bench seat. We are wrapped as close as possible to each other. With our 16 year old hormones flowing I clearly remember discovering I could release her bra in back with one hand as my other hand caressed up underneath her blouse in front to tickle her erect nipples. We were both trying to get our tongues down each other’s throats as we moaned into each other. I was surprised, to say the least, when she cleverly managed to unbutton my 501 Levi’s, with one hand, and began to caress me in a way that was unmistakable. This was the beginning of an amazing relationship for our Junior year in high school. Looking back, I was never as grateful as I should have been for her and our mutual discoveries. No doubt, I thought, that Harvard study must have been done by young underclassmen.
“Hi Doctor Dohn”, My patient said as she walked into the patio, “Great seeing you here today. How are you?”
Weirdly, I blushed and said, “Hi Rose, good seeing you as well. It’s kind of warm today”, I say to hopefully explain my red face. Then I say, “These are my Wide Sky Men’s Group friends”
“Hello,” they all say, she nods and goes to sit down with her friend.
I turn to my guy friends and say, “There has got to be more research on this 12 to 24 times idea. I wonder what the recommended frequency is for women?
Somebody days, “Dr Google and Dr Siri will know, let’s look it up”.
That sparrow momentarily jumped up on my tennis shoe for a broken tortilla chip.
John Grisham is right, sex makes stories not only more fun to read but more fun to write as well.
