Every child is born bright, inquisitive, creative and very intelligent.
Then life happens. Life may not unfold as intended by the parents, but life happens.
“Phew, he pooped his pants. He stinks.” (what’s wrong with me? age 2) “Pooping must be secret and wrong”
“Children should be seen and not heard.” (age 3)
My father hit my mother. Everybody hits everybody on TV.
I said nothing. Children should be seen and not heard, remember? (age 4)
“Now that your father is gone you will need to be the man of the house.” (age 5)
(I’m just a kid. I can’t be a man, will never be a man.)
I started biting my fingernails and wetting the bed at age 5.
“Little Jimmy is so smart. Why does he do that? (what’s wrong with me?
He will be President someday
Family secrets. What the children learn is the importance of keeping secrets.
And they learn to lie. Children know more than you think they know.
“DON’T TOUCH YOURSELF LIKE THAT”
“I’ll give you something to cry about. Stop crying”
Getting drunk must be fun. Smoking is really cool.
I stopped wetting the bed at 11 when I started smoking cigarettes regularly.
Smoking required stealing and lying from my parents.
More secrets and lying. Learned to cheat in school. “Jim is so smart”
Sex at 15. More secrets and lying. (some things you just don’t talk about.)
Who cares about grades? Don’t ask for help. “You should know.”
Our President murdered. Everybody lies about it.
Children really know when adults are lying.
High School GPA is 2.1. “Jim has so much potential”
Marine Corps, Viet Nam, two tours, Official US lies.
The 60’s; I’m not a baby killer but I am a Veteran.
More shame; what’s wrong with me? (how come I can’t poop?)
Grown up at last. (if I can just feel good and make enough money.)
Enter Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll………Hoorah, Hoorah
Now maybe life will turn out for me and my big back-pack of constipated secrets,
undelivered communications, shame and grief. And only 23 years old.
I have not been touched by Hellerwork yet…I’m still out of touch with myself.
Stay tuned for the next installment of the Good Doctor’s story……….:)JJ